Impresión
by eszath
Summary: Post Eclipse WITH spoilers. Jacob ran off; will he ever come home? What will happen if he does?
1. My Bella

The air whipped by as my feet flew - not quite gracefully, I wasn't a leech after all - over the uneven ground. The salt air stung my nostrils and helped to clear my mind.

_Matrimony._ Bella was getting _married_. To a blood-sucking monster. A filthy, blood-sucking, girlfriend stealing..

My train of thought halted. She wasn't my girlfriend. She had never been and, apparently, never would be. I guess a part of me had never quite given up the hope that maybe the love she felt for me would in some way at least compare to the love she felt for him. That same part of me even thought that for some reason she would eventually chose me over him. After all, I was the one here for her when he left her broken; practically dead. But the moment he had come back, she had pretended like he never hurt her in the first place. I was the only one who saw through his pathetic excuses. He didn't want to keep Bella safe, he got bored and so he left. Who knew how long it would be before that happened again. Only this time, I would never let him get away with it.

I snarled before I could stop myself and then slowed my running to a jog, trying to calm the shaking. In, out. With each lungful of air, another memory washed over me.

In. Bella was laughing, though it didn't quite reach her eyes, as we sat in my garage working on the motorcycles. One arm was wrapped protectively around her waist, and each time I turned my gaze from her face, her eyes would fill with tears almost automatically. I wanted to reach out; to hold her and tell her everything would be okay, but I didn't. She never knew that I noticed. Out. We were in the emergency room, her arm cut up badly from another accident on the motorcycle. As the door swung open to reveal the doctor, Bella's eyes lit up eagerly until she saw it wasn't who she was hoping for. I felt a twinge of disgust in the pit of my stomach as I realized how much she really hoped they were going to come back. The hope in her eyes flashed to the usual despair before she covered it up in the emotionless mask she had become accustomed to. Only I ever could really tell how she felt. And only I would ever know how much pain she was really in. Those damn leeches were going to have to answer to me. A shudder escaped my carefully composed facade and a small piece of the table I was leaning on for support broke off in my hand, but if Bella noticed she didn't acknowledge it. In. It was a long time ago, the very night he left. I hadn't been there, and I was always going to regret not being able to be there to help her. Even still, Sam's memory flashed through my mind in more detail then my own did most times. Bella was on the ground, sobbing. Her thin frame shaking and shuddering violently in the cold wind and rain, but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes were wide, and her lips moved almost imperceptibly. He's gone. She chanted over and over, not even noticing when Sam lifted her gently in his overheated arms.

My arms began shuddering violently and I clenched my jaw, trying to stop the shaking. If I transformed now, everyone would surely chew me out for running away. There was no way I would be able to avoid their questions with their thoughts constantly bombarding my head.

I stopped jogging abruptly, standing and staring at the setting sun.

How ironic. My entire world was dreary and gray; dying. But you would never know that a heart was breaking when you looked at the beautiful patterns and colors in the sky. Briefly, I wondered to myself if Bella was watching this same sunset and thinking about me. I doubted it. She had her bloodsucker now, and she didn't need me. No one for maybe the pack. A small voice in the back of my head was constantly nagging me that I should go back. They needed their beta, and their friend. At this point, though, I wasn't entirely sure they would even consider me a friend anymore. I had run away from them because I was a coward and couldn't face the fact that Bella didn't love me. No one really understood how I felt. I never expected them to. The only person who ever came close was Bella, and I didn't want to think about who she felt that way for. My emotions were swirling around in my head and giving me a massive migraine. Nothing made sense. I hadn't imprinted, so why was I so damn attached to her?

No reason that I could think of really seemed to fit. I kicked a rock hard in my frustration and it hit a nearby tree, a few pieces of bark breaking away and falling to the ground. Why was I so attached to her? She wasn't anything special, merely a friend. And things change. We lose old friends and gain new ones. Life goes on.

But she wasn't just a friend. I loved her. With every ounce of my soul, I loved her. I loved her clumsiness and her carefree laugh. I loved the look on her face when she was trying to figure out one of the puzzles life threw at her, and I loved how she would never give up. My Bella was the most stubborn creature alive.

I almost laughed. Until I remembered yet again that she wasn't mine.

If only I could have stopped her, she wouldn't be marrying a disgusting blood-sucker right now. I wouldn't have to watch silently as my best friend turned into my mortal enemy.

Another tremor rolled down my spine and I waited for it to subside before sitting down on a big rock that was nearby. My fingers clutched at the edges anxiously with each wave of pain and anger (at myself) when I thought of the other possibilities.

I didn't have to sit by and watch silently. I knew that. But the only other options I had were to destroy her precious Edward and his family. That would hurt her badly, though, and the only thing I hated worse then the idea of her becoming one of them would be to hurt her again (and possibly worse then he did the first time). The small part of me that was still sane was what kept me from doing anything stupid. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold up, though.

A piece of the rock crumbled beneath my fingers while I grasped at it.

"Damn it," I mumbled to myself, laying my head down and keeping my fingers firmly planted on the edge of the rock. "What is wrong with me?"

A sound caught my attention and I turned eagerly towards the woods, almost hoping to see someone familiar. But it was just a rabbit, and as soon as it saw that I had been alerted to its presence, it hopped away.

It was time. Even if I wasn't ready, and even if I didn't really want to put up with the comments from the pack, I needed to go home. I needed to see Bella one last time; needed to make things right.

My mind conjured up a picture of Bella as I transformed, allowing the voices of the others to fill my head.

_Jacob? _

It was Sam.

_I'm coming home_.

In my mind, I could almost see him nodding sympathetically and the pain engulfed me again. I didn't bother trying to hide how I was feeling. Everyone would know soon enough anyway.

The pain surfaced as I ran, nearly choking me.

I was drowning, and I was desperate for anything to keep me alive. Anything to keep the deep blue water from filling my lungs and suffocating me. The only thing (or person) that could keep me from going completely under probably didn't ever want to see me again. But I had to try. Somehow, I wold get her to speak to me.

I closed my eyes and one tear escaped as I sped off into the woods again, hoping that maybe somehow I'd be able to survive the clouds without the help of my sun. My light. My Bella.

The faster I ran, the more I was compelled to return; the more determined I became to change her mind.

Soon enough, I was too tired and too hungry to continue. So I stopped and laid down in a field, gazing up at the stars. For the moment, I would stay in my wolf form. Just in-case.

_Bella_. I sighed, absentmindedly picturing her face in the stars. I'll be home soon.

Just as I started to drift off, a snapping twig made my ears perk up. Sniffing the air, I caught scent of something - no, someone - very familiar.

I stood abruptly, staring off cautiously in the direction of the noise. I was about to lay back down when a pale figure appeared at the edge of the field, staring at me cautiously. Whoever it - no, she - was wasn't deathly pale, not like them, but was still slightly untanned for the usual human. Her brown hair lay flat against her face as her gaze darted down to something in her hand.

Just as I was about to dart, a light flashed on and I blinked rapidly, disoriented. A small gasp sounded from the human and, as I looked in her direction, I realized why the scent had seemed so familiar. My eyes flashed quickly from her face down her figure, committing in to memory, before I smelt him as well. He was somewhere near by.

My plan would have to wait until later.

_Damn._ I growled slightly and she backed up imperceptibly before speaking.

"_Jacob?_" Her smooth voice caressed me and brought me comfort that I hadn't found in such a long time. "Jacob!" As soon as she realized it was me, she ran over - stumbling only once - before enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug. I pressed myself against her and took a deep breath, her scent filling my nostrils and giving me hope. As soon as she had stopped hugging me, I backed up slightly and gave her a wolfy grin before licking her face from her chin to her forehead. She giggled uneasily and slapped me playfully before sitting down and gesturing to a spot next to her in the field. For a moment, my mind registered that Edward probably wouldn't like this very much. But, I couldn't care less at this point. Bella was with me, and that was all that mattered.

_My Bella._


	2. Home

For a few moments, we laid there with each other, forgetting the world. But as it got colder and she started to shiver, I was reminded that she was (for the time being) still a _normal_ human. Well, as normal as Bella could ever be. And Edward probably wouldn't be very happy with me if I got her sick. Standing up, I nudged her hand with my nose and then looked pointedly at the forest.

"Go ahead, Jake. I'll still be here," she said, acknowledging my request as though I had spoken aloud. I licked her hand in thanks and then ran into the woods, quickly morphing from my wolf form as her laughter rang all around me.

As I emerged form the forest, Bella was still standing there with her arms wrapped protectively around her herself, trying to stop the cold. I crossed the distance between us quickly and pulled her into my warm embrace.

"I missed you, Bells."

She nodded against my chest, pressing every inch of her exposed flesh against me. Though the cold stung, I didn't dare back away. She needed the warmth. I'd always make sure that if nothing else, I could give her that. After a few moments, I pulled away and looked down at her. There was some emotion buried deeply beneath her eyes. Regret? Fear? Disappointment?

I was about to ask her when, suddenly, another figure walked from the trees to stand beside Bella, his golden eyes piercing the darkness of the night.

"Jacob." His greeting seemed friendly enough, but I understood perfectly the warning behind them.

"Edward."

He looked down at Bella and she smiled softly, taken his hand in her's. He grinned in response before looking at me again, all of the unasked questions that I had been expecting clear in his eyes. I dropped my gaze down to their interlocked hands and wrinkled my brow slightly. Where were the wedding rings?

"She canceled it. She was too worried about you to even think about a wedding until you were found. Though, it seems, you were perfectly fine."

Canceled it? Did that mean she was rethinking her choice?

Before I could think about it any more, Bella corrected him. "Postponed it, actually."

I grimaced. _Damn._

Edward smirked meaningfully at me and I glared at him, annoyed yet again that he wouldn't stay out of my mind. Without looking away from me, he dropped his lips down to her ear and whispered, "I love you."

She shuddered in delight and in response I felt a shudder of my own cascade down my spine. I clenched my fist tighter and Edward moved slightly in front of Bella, just in-case.

"I'm fine," I sneered.

He nodded curtly before looking to Bella, who had cast her eyes downward in thought.

"What's wrong, love?" Edward asked before I had the chance.

She ignored him and turned to me, eyes brimming with tears. "Why?"

There were implications to her question that even I couldn't understand, but I decided to ignore them and just answer the obvious. "I needed to get away."

She nodded, and one tear escaped before Edward pulled her to him, whispering softly in her ear.

"Are you... coming back?"

Her voice was weak. Whether it was from crying or because she was afraid of my answer, I didn't know. I did know, however, that now that I had seen her again, there would be no going back.

"Yes," I responded, smiling.

A wide grin spread across her face as I spoke and she broke from Edward's embrace to hug me. I hugged her back eagerly and thought briefly about how her body felt so right pressed up against mine.

"You know your precious pup is alright now, Bella. I think it's time we get home," Edward sneered, annoyed at my thoughts. I smirked triumphantly and pulled her closer ever slightly before mussing her hair and pulling back.

"See you at home?" She still seemed unsure of whether or not I was going to go back to La Push, and that broke my heart. Had she really been that worried about me? Obviously, she had at least cared. She had postponed her wedding for me. Why had I ever thought I didn't matter to her.

Nodding eagerly, I took her hand and squeezed gently, quickly dropping it. I had pushed Edward enough for one night. "Yep."

She smiled and walked back to Edward's side, taking his hand quickly as if the short time she had spent not physically connected to him in some way was the hardest thing ever. I scowled ever so slightly, but she didn't notice.

"Bye, Bells," I whispered, my voice barely audible above the wind. Somehow, she managed to understand what I had said.

"Bye, Jake."

I watched as Edward lifted her gently into his arms and ran back into the forest - back to Forks.

_Time to go home_, I thought to myself, sighing.

I morphed into my wolf form again, not worried about anyone seeing this time, and began running back towards La Push. The wind carried Bella and Edward's scents toward me as I ran, and I followed them carefully, making sure not to lose my way. For some reason, I figured that Edward would know the quickest way back.

As soon as I reached the border of Forks - and I knew where I was going - I turned and headed back to La Push. The sun was rising and Bella probably got home long ago. I shook my head slightly, my over-grown fur falling in front of my eyes for a moment. Why couldn't I get her out of my head?

_You love her._

The voice the echoed in my head certainly wasn't my own, and I growled softly when I realized that Embry had been listening the whole time.

_Hey, don't get all pissy on us. You're the one who disappeared for a month._ It was Paul this time, and I just tuned them out as I ran, pushing myself faster towards Sam's house. When I reached the trees at the edge of their property, I sat there for a moment collecting my thoughts.

Just as I was about to change back, I growled at the rest of the pack. Mind your own business. At least I didn't imprint on a two year old.

The chuckles resounded in my head and just as I changed, I heard someone mutter, Jacob's back.

I grinned. They were right, I was back. And, ashamed as I was for leaving the pack like that, it was a good thing that I had. There were a few things I needed to sort out without the little voices in my head making sarcastic comments.

My grin grew more pronounced as I walked, cautiously, up the stairs towards the front door. Before I could even place a finger on the doorbell, the door swung open to reveal a very happy Emily.

"Jacob!" She squealed, running forward to embrace me. I smiled and hugged her back for a moment when she suddenly pulled away, wrinkling her nose.

"What?" I asked, quirking one eyebrow.

"Jacob Black, go home and get a shower right now! You haven't bathed in a month and I don't want you messing up my house!"

Though she was reprimanding me, a smirk spread gently across her face and I laughed.

"Sure, sure. I just need to see Sam first."

"Sam will understand. Go, clean yourself up. I'll let him know you stopped by."

I nodded and smiled again, quickly thanking her before running back out the front door and towards my house.

It felt good to be home.


End file.
